Here’s a secret, guys. Women love a great butt too! Maybe even more so than us gents, they just don’t talk about it as much. What’s the secret to a great butt you ask? Two things: definition (make sure you’re doing those squats), and even more importantly, no hair on those cheeks! But what’s the safest, most effective, and most cost-effective way to eliminate hairy butt? Thankfully we have a multitude of options at our disposal. Find out which is the right one for you.
Why Do We Even Have Butt Hair?
It turns out there WAS a reason for it. However, it may be one which doesn’t serve much purpose anymore. Body hair serves the evolutionary purpose of keeping us warm. Basically, your hairy butt is just like having pubes, but in a different location. However due to the inventions of things like clothes, and heat, it is becoming less and less important to survival. In turn, it now comes down to visual appearance, which many of us would prefer to eliminate our hairy butts if possible. Here are a few methods available to doing just that:
- Laser Hair Removal
- Depilatory Creams
If you’re looking for a quick read this should get you headed in the right direction down the road of butt hair removal. However, if you want to dive a bit deeper, let’s break down each method and find the one that’s best for you.
Trimming Hairy Butts
Using a solid trimmer is one of the easiest, and fastest ways to get those cheeks smooth. We recommend grabbing a second trimmer for manscaping if you can. You really don’t want to be shaving your face and your hairy butt with the same trimmer if you don’t have to. If that’s not an option however, make sure to clean your blade with 91% rubbing alcohol after trimming down below! Here’s the steps:
- Jump in the shower and place one leg up on the tub. Be careful, it’s slippery.
- Adjust the trimmer guard to a one. You can always go to a zero if you like, but don’t be overly aggressive in your passes.
- Starting at the hamstring, use the trimmer to shave upward across the cheeks.
- Make sure not to miss any spots, a solid shower mirror is a great tool for this.
PRO TIP GENTS: If you're super anal, and want to get every last hair, sometimes your regular trimmer may be a bit too big for the job. Grab yourself a quality trimmer with a detailing attachment that's a bit smaller to really get in close and take those bad boys down a notch!
Shaving Butt Hair
Given the sensitivity of the area, a great safety razor is the way to go to make sure you’re in full control and minimize the passes of the blade. We just recommend getting yourself a separate one for manscaping. Again, don’t shave your face and your hairy butt with the same razor, but we’re guessing you know that already. Here’s how to do it:
- Wash the area using a soap or body wash.
- Lather the area with shaving cream or gel.
- Prop one leg up on the side of the tub. Be careful. Don’t slip!
- Use one hand to pull your cheeks apart and hold the skin taut.
- Shave the area very slowly and carefully using small strokes.
- Rinse well and pat dry.
- Moisturize if needed.
Waxing Hairy Butts
Waxing pulls the hair out by the roots, allowing you to remain hairless for longer, usually about two to four weeks.
Home waxing a hairy butt can be tricky, especially if you’re new to the process. If you don’t feel comfortable, you should leave it to a professional. However, if you’re determined to do it yourself, most waxing kits involve these steps:
- Shower or bathe in warm water for at least a few minutes.
- Make sure that the hair is no more than 1/4-inch long. If the hair is longer, trim it first.
- Heat the wax and apply to the desired region.
- Apply the provided waxing cloth over the wax.
- Wait a few seconds for the wax to harden.
- Hold the skin taut with one hand and swiftly pull off the wax strip to remove the hair.
- Try not to cry. (Ok we added this one, but be aware, this is a painful method.)
Laser Hair Removal
Laser Hair removal is definitely the most effective, but does carrying a bit of an expensive price tag, and has a few risks for harm. If you want to get laser hair removal for your hairy butt, you’ll probably need somewhere between four to six treatments, which will typically result in only a 70 percent reduction in hair growth.
We’re not going to lie though. It’s most likely going to be uncomfortable. The pulses are often described as feeling like pinpricks or compared to the sensation of having a rubber band snapped against your skin. Ouch!
You can expect some swelling and redness for a few of days after each treatment, especially when dealing with sensitive areas like your buttocks.
More severe side effects are also possible, including scarring, blistering, and even infections. Not to mention, the bill for this one is typically quite large and each session typically carries its own fee. For us, this one is a hard pass; but it is an option.
Electrolysis is a process that involves the use of a small electric current that’s transmitted through a small needle into the hair follicle to make the hairs fall out and to stop them from growing back.
Electrolysis does cause some discomfort, but not nearly as much as laser hair removal. The small electric current delivered during the procedure is far less as invasive as a laser. However, like laser treatments, electrolysis requires follow-up treatments, and can also get quite expensive.
Depilatory or Hair Removal Creams
Depilatory creams are incredibly affective at hair removal, for a short time. The issue with these types of creams is that they contain strong chemicals, and aren’t suitable for all areas of the body. This includes your eyes, mouth, and yes, your genitals, which when we’re talking hairy butts, may be a bit too close for comfort. Not only that, the results are typically short lived, and the chemicals used can cause a patchy aftereffect in your skin. To us, this one seems a bit risky, but if you’re ready to roll the dice, here’s how to get it done.
- Read the instructions. We can’t stress this enough. These products do contain very strong chemicals. Treat them as such, and follow the brands recommendations.
- Thoroughly wash the area in which you wish to remove the hair.
- Apply the cream to a small patch of hair. It’s important to make sure your skin isn’t too sensitive to handle the cream. A little tingling is fine, but if you notice any type of burning, remove the cream immediately. This isn’t the method for you.
- Wearing gloves, apply the cream according to the specific manufacture directions.
- After hair removal is completed it’s important to moisturize the area, as it will undoubtedly be a bit irritated.
Keeping It Clean
No matter how you are removing the hair, remember that the process affects both the hair and the skin. In order to maintain healthy skin, it’s important that you keep the area well moisturized and clean. An inflamed, damaged skin barrier promotes razor burn, increases your risk of developing ingrown hairs, and can even lead to infection.
Wet wipes are a great way to keep your butt clean and comfortable. Wipes actually clean and more importantly sanitize after restroom use, as the added moisture does a far better job at fully cleansing the area. Most also have added moisturizers like aloe to help reduce irritation to sensitive skin. Two things that toilet paper itself simply can’t provide. Not to mention, aggressive wiping can cause painful fissures which can take up to 12 weeks to heal and even hemorrhoids. Treat yourself to the world of wipes. We’re confident that after using them, toilet paper will be a thing of the past!
How To Get Rid Of Butt Sweat
Butt sweat, sweaty butt, swamp ass, it doesn't matter what you call it. It happens to the best of us. Now removing the hair from your butt will definitely help to make it less sweaty, but if the problem persists, there are a few things you can do to help eliminate the problem.
- Invest in Moisture Resistant Underwear: This is a great way to keep sweaty butt at bay. Underwear that are designed with this problem in mind work far better at eliminating sweat than your typical cotton 3-pack. It may be a bit more expensive; but if butt sweat is a problem for you, this one will surely nip it in the butt!
- Stand Up: Most butt sweat issues come from just prolonged sitting. Long car rides, sitting at the office, even lounging on the couch. It's important for your overall health to try and get up and move around at least once every hour. When it comes to butt sweat, the same rules apply.
- Use A Powder: Hey it works for babies, it will work for you too! A light dusting of baby powder between those cheeks helps to reduce moisture and improve overall comfort. If your butt sweat is accompanied with pain or itching, you can always opt for something medicated too.
Whichever method you decide is right for you, we promise the spicy señoritas will approve. Keep it clean, keep it hair free, keep it dry. The best butt award is definitely one that you'll be proud to own!
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